Casewell
How to read this in the United States
Custody questions rarely have one US-wide answer. State law differs, and county rules differ inside a single state. Start with the order or parenting plan that actually applies to you.
Record each event with the date it happened and the date you wrote it down. Keep the whole message thread, bill or calendar item rather than a crop of it. A screenshot should never be your only copy.
A reader should be able to see what happened, when you recorded it and what changed afterwards. Take the legal questions to a family-law attorney licensed in your state.
Every state runs its own custody court
Custody cases are heard in state courts, and each state has its own evidence rules. The Federal Rules of Evidence apply in federal courts. Many states base their own rules on them. The details still differ.
This guide uses California as the worked example, with the matching federal rule where it helps. Check the rules in your own state with a family law attorney before you rely on any of them.
What travels across every state is the way you keep the record. Dated entries, the evidence attached and edits shown. That is what makes a record useful to an attorney anywhere.
The other side may get to read your journal
Many parents assume a private journal stays private. In court, that is often not true.
If you use it to refresh your memory. California Evidence Code section 771 covers this. A witness who uses a writing to refresh their memory must produce it at the hearing if the other side asks. That applies whether they used it while testifying or before. If it is produced, the other side can inspect it, ask questions about it and introduce pertinent portions into evidence. If it is not produced, and no exception applies, the testimony about that matter must be struck. Federal Rule of Evidence 612 is similar, although its treatment of writings used before testimony is more discretionary.
In discovery. Discovery is the stage where each side can ask the other for information. In California, that is covered by Code of Civil Procedure section 2031.010. A party can demand to inspect and copy documents and electronically stored information that the other party possesses, controls or has custody of, subject to the discovery rules. A journal on your phone can fall within a relevant demand.
Three things follow.
- Write each entry so you would be comfortable with the other parent and a judge reading it.
- Ask your attorney before deleting anything once a case has started.
- Treat a filtered PDF as a working copy for your attorney. They decide what gets handed over.
Notes made while it was fresh
Memory fades, especially over a long case. The law has a route for that.
California Evidence Code section 1237 covers this. A note you wrote when an event happened, or while it was still fresh, can sometimes be read into evidence. That applies when you can no longer remember it well enough to testify fully. You have to testify that the note was true when you made it. The note also has to be shown to be an accurate record. The page itself is only handed to the judge as an exhibit if the other side offers it. Federal Rule of Evidence 803(5) is similar.
That is why the date you wrote something down matters as much as the date it happened. Check the exported PDF for three things.
- Two dates per entry. When the event happened and when you wrote it down.
- Rough dates marked as rough. If you only remember the week, the page should say so.
- Edits shown. Fixing a typo is normal. A record that changes without a trace is the one people stop trusting.
Casewell prints Event occurred on and Recorded on for every exported entry. If you edit an entry later, the PDF says it was edited after recording and shows how many saved revisions there are. Before you export, it also tells you how many entries were added after the day they happened.
Texts, screenshots and what you post
The other parent's own messages can be important evidence. Hearsay is the general rule against using things said outside court as proof. In California, Evidence Code section 1220 says that rule does not block a party's own statement when it is used against them. Federal Rule of Evidence 801(d)(2) treats an opposing party's statement the same way.
That works both ways. Your own texts and social media posts can be used against you.
You also have to show a screenshot is what you say it is. California Evidence Code section 1400 calls this authentication. The easier path is keeping the full message thread, not a cropped image, and attaching it to the dated entry it supports.
So look for an app that keeps each screenshot with the note that explains it. Then before you post anything about your case online, ask how it would read if a judge saw it.
What happens in custody mediation
In California, when custody or visitation is contested, Family Code section 3170 says the court must send those issues to mediation. Under section 3177, mediation sessions are private and confidential.
There is an important exception to know about. Under Family Code section 3183, some counties let the mediator send a recommendation to the court if the parents do not agree. That person is called a child custody recommending counselor. The parents must get the recommendation in writing before the hearing.
Ask your court which kind of mediation you have before you go. If your county uses recommending counselors, what you say in the session can shape what the judge reads. Bring a short, factual summary of the key events rather than the whole journal. Other states handle mediation differently.
Private record app or shared co-parenting platform
The two kinds of app do different jobs. Many parents end up using both.
A shared platform such as OurFamilyWizard is built for both parents to join. Messages, calendars and expenses sit in one place you can both see. That can suit parents who can keep day-to-day contact to one channel.
A private record app is built for one parent. It holds your notes, the files that back them up and your own expense records. It does not depend on anyone else joining or keeping an account open. Your record is yours alone.
Messages on a shared platform are already dated there. Everything else still needs a home. A late pickup, a call from school, a doctor's visit or a receipt. A private record app can hold those, with screenshots of the relevant messages attached to the entry they explain.
Where the app keeps your records
The United States has no single privacy law that covers every app. What protects you depends on the company's promises and on state law.
The Federal Trade Commission says that if a company makes privacy promises, the FTC Act says it must live up to them. So the privacy policy matters.
California's privacy law, the CCPA, covers businesses that meet statutory thresholds. One threshold is annual gross revenue of at least $26,625,000 for the preceding calendar year, using the current CPPA adjustment. Other thresholds include buying, selling or sharing the personal information of 100,000 or more consumers or households, or deriving at least half of annual revenue from selling or sharing personal information. A small app company may fall outside it, and the thresholds and coverage rules can change.
Before you put a child's medical record or a safety concern into any app, the privacy policy should answer four questions.
- Are the records and files stored on your phone or on the company's servers?
- Can anyone at the company open them?
- How do backup and restore work if your phone is lost or replaced?
- What can you still open or export if you stop paying?
Casewell says sensitive record payloads and imported attachment files are encrypted in its on-device vault by default. Some non-sensitive index fields remain available for sorting and filtering. Its privacy policy says record content is not automatically uploaded or shared, although limited analytics, purchase, support and optional AI services may process information, and exports are shared when you choose. Test the backup answer for yourself with any app before you rely on it, Casewell included.
A two-week test before you commit
Casewell has a 14-day free trial. Use the checks below to compare an app's entry, export and privacy features before choosing. If an app offers a trial, try the steps during that period. Otherwise, ask the provider about a demo.
- Log three real events from this week. Attach a screenshot to one and a receipt to another. Give the third a rough date.
- Edit one entry the next day.
- Export one child, one category and one week as a PDF.
- Open the PDF on a computer. Would you be comfortable with the other parent's attorney reading every word?
- Check that each entry shows when it happened and when it was recorded.
- Check that the edit from step 2 is visible on the page.
- Check that each screenshot is attached to the entry it supports.
- Read the privacy policy against the four questions above.
These checks help you compare how each app handles an entry and export. Take the PDF to a family law attorney as a working timeline. Let them decide what goes to court and what stays private. Our guide to getting ready for a lawyer covers what to bring to that first meeting.
Your state and county matter
Custody rules change from state to state, and sometimes from county to county. Put your state and county at the top of anything you share. Quote your custody order or parenting plan word for word. Keep court notices and portal downloads exactly as you received them. If a move, a new school or another state is involved, raise it with your attorney rather than guessing which rules apply.
Before you share your record
Everything above is about keeping your own record. Before you show any of it to someone else, a few extra steps help.
Deal with one question at a time. Share the current order, a short timeline and the files that prove the point. Keep everything else safe in case it is needed later.
Court rules on redacting details, exhibits and deadlines vary from place to place. Check with a family-law attorney licensed in your state or your court's self-help pages before you file or send anything.
Write your state and county at the top and use the terms from your own order. A rule from one state may not apply in another.
A private record you would be comfortable having read
Casewell keeps each dated entry with the screenshot, receipt or file that supports it. It shows when the event happened and when you recorded it, and marks later edits. When you need a review, filter by date range, child and category, and export a focused PDF for your family law attorney.
Is there a court-approved custody documentation app?
No. Family courts in the United States do not approve or certify record-keeping apps. What a judge looks at is your testimony and the evidence your attorney presents, whichever app produced your notes.
Can the other parent get a copy of my custody journal?
Often, yes. In California, Evidence Code section 771 applies if you use a writing to refresh your memory, while testifying or before. The other side can ask for it. They can also demand documents and electronically stored information in your control during discovery. Write every entry as if the other parent will read it, and ask your attorney before deleting anything.
Can I read my notes to the judge?
Sometimes. In California, Evidence Code section 1237 lets a note be read into evidence in some cases. You must have written it while the event was fresh. You must no longer remember it well enough to testify fully. And you must testify it was true when you made it. The page itself is only handed over as an exhibit if the other side offers it. Other states have similar rules.
Can I use my ex's text messages as evidence?
Usually they can be offered. In California, Evidence Code section 1220 says the hearsay rule does not block a party's own statement used against them. You still have to show the screenshot is genuine. Keep the full thread with the date, not just a cropped image. Your own messages can be used against you in the same way.
Is custody mediation confidential in California?
Family Code section 3177 makes custody mediation private and confidential. But under section 3183, some counties let the mediator send a recommendation to the judge if you do not agree. That role is called a child custody recommending counselor. Ask your court which kind you have before the session.
Does it matter where a documentation app stores my data?
Yes. There is no single US privacy law covering every app. The FTC says companies must live up to the privacy promises they make. California's CCPA covers larger businesses. A small app company may fall outside it. Read the privacy policy too. It should say where records are stored, who can open them, how backup works and what you keep if you stop paying.
Does this apply in every state?
No. Custody law, procedure and terminology differ by state and often by county. Use this page to keep your own record in order, and check legal questions with an attorney in your state.
Sources
California code sections are used as the worked example. Federal rules apply in federal courts, and each state has its own evidence and discovery rules. This is a documentation guide, not legal advice.
- California Evidence Code 771: writing used to refresh memory
- California Evidence Code 1237: past recollection recorded
- California Evidence Code 1220: statements of a party
- California Code of Civil Procedure 2031.010: inspection demands
- California Family Code 3177 and 3183: custody mediation and recommending counselors
- Federal Rules of Evidence 612 and 803(5)
- California Privacy Protection Agency: 2025 CCPA monetary threshold adjustments
- Federal Trade Commission: privacy and security guidance for businesses
- California Courts: Child custody and parenting time