How to log denied or withheld visitation — for Canadian parents

How to read this in Canada

Keep the record in layers: what the plan says, the dated event and its source, then what happened next. A fact stops being useful the moment it is written up as a legal conclusion.

Canadian rules can come from federal, provincial or territorial law. Start with the order or plan that applies to you, and keep its exact terms, such as parenting time or decision-making responsibility.

If you need to correct an error, add a dated note rather than editing the original. Keep routine events near the disputed ones so a family lawyer in your province or territory can judge which facts actually matter.

Your province or territory matters

Family law in Canada mixes federal and provincial rules. Say which province or territory you live in and which court is involved. Use the terms from your own order, such as parenting time or decision-making responsibility. If you are not sure whether the Divorce Act or a provincial law applies, ask a lawyer.

Name the scheduled time first

Start with the order, parenting plan, calendar entry or agreement that created the expected time. Record the planned start, planned end, location and source reference. This lets a reviewer compare the expectation with the event.

Describe the attempted contact

Record when you arrived, what you did, who was present and what communication happened. If contact did not occur, write the observable outcome. Do not write that the other parent intended to block contact unless a source directly says that.

What actually proves the time was denied

The strongest proof of a denied handover is a record made while it was happening, not a summary written days later. Send one short factual message at the exchange time saying where you are and what you're waiting for. That message carries its own timestamp and it usually survives better than memory.

Useful sources, roughly in order of weight:

• the order or plan that set the time
• a message sent at the exchange time, and the reply to it
• your call log
• a named adult who was there with you
• a dated travel record such as a fuel receipt or transit fare

A photograph of an empty doorway proves very little on its own.

Record what you could actually see and hear. "Nobody came to the door between 17:00 and 17:25" is a fact. "They hid inside to stop me seeing her" is a conclusion, and it weakens the entry it sits in.

Preserve the complete thread

A cropped message may hide an agreement, offer of make-up time or safety issue. Save the full thread or export where possible. If you only have a screenshot, record its limits and keep the original device data.

A cancelled visit is a different fact from a denied one

Filing every missed visit as a denial makes a record less useful, not more. A cancellation has a person who cancelled it, a time it was cancelled, a reason given and sometimes an alternative offered. A denial usually has none of that.

Log four things for a cancellation. Who cancelled. How much notice they gave, in hours. What reason they stated at the time, in their words rather than yours. Whether any alternative date was offered.

Then let the pattern speak. Twelve cancellations at two hours' notice with no alternative reads very differently from twelve cancellations for a documented illness. A reviewer can only see which one they're looking at if you kept the columns apart. Also log the visits you cancelled. A one-sided count is the first thing a reviewer tests.

Track make-up time through all four states

Make-up time isn't one fact, it's a sequence, and it fails at different points. Keep offered, agreed, scheduled and completed as separate entries. An offer that never turns into a date is not make-up time, and a summary that treats it as one is overstating your own record.

Write it as a chain: 4 Sep contact did not occur → 5 Sep make-up offered for 14 Sep → 6 Sep agreed → 14 Sep completed 10:00–16:00. If the chain stops, the record shows where. That's more persuasive than an adjective.

Completed make-up time doesn't erase the original missed time. The missed time doesn't cancel the make-up either. Keep both rows. A reviewer who sees that you recorded the resolution as carefully as the problem will trust the rest of the record more.

Write about withholding without overstating it

"Withholding" carries an accusation of intent, and intent is the one thing your record usually can't show. Use the word when you're quoting an order, a statute or something the other parent actually said. Otherwise describe the outcome and let a lawyer attach the label.

Risky: "She is withholding my son again and has no intention of ever following the order."

Reviewable: "Scheduled contact 17:00–19:00 under ORD-02 did not take place. Message at 17:08 said he would not be coming. No alternative was offered. Fifth occasion since 1 July. See rows DV-014 to DV-018."

The second version is harder to argue with and it says more. In several US states, custodial interference is a criminal-law term with its own statutory test. Writing it into a private log can imply something you haven't evidenced. Ask a family lawyer which term fits where you live.

Prepare a pattern without overstatement

Count repeated denied or missed time by date range. Include everyday exchanges too. An expert can review the pattern more easily when each count links back to dated entries and source material.

Before you share your record

Everything above is about keeping your own record. Before you show any of it to someone else, a few extra steps help.

Keep what you share short. Include the current order or plan, a factual timeline and the files that matter, and say plainly where something is missing.

Privacy, court and evidence rules differ across Canada. Ask a family lawyer in your province or territory before you file or share records.

Say which province or territory you are in, and whether the Divorce Act or a provincial family law applies. Use the terms from your own order.

DATE:
SCHEDULE SOURCE:
PLANNED PARENTING TIME:
LOCATION:
ATTEMPTED CONTACT:
WHO WAS PRESENT:
COMMUNICATION SUMMARY:
REASON GIVEN:
CHILD-RELATED EFFECT:
MAKE-UP TIME STATUS:
EVIDENCE REFERENCES:
LIMITS OR UNKNOWN FACTS: